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I used to have connection with women as frequently as I could, and I frequently visited the Turkish baths and found that several clients were abnormal, including one of the masseurs; the latter enjoyed playing with my penis, kissing and tickling me.
It isnot difficult to understand why this should be.
Evidently under suchconditions there is a state of hyperæsthetic weakness.
“La volupte Nous rend hardis, l’amour nous rend timides.”
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The older girl was big for her age, and he would separate her drawers and smack her with much voluptuous emotion; so that he frequently sought opportunities to repeat the experience, to which the girl willingly lent herself, and they were constantly together in dark corners, the girl herself opening her drawers to enable him to caress her thighs and buttocks with his hand until he became conscious of an erection. At the same time he castdoubt on the existence of acquired homosexuality, in a strict sense,except in occasional cases, and he pointed out that even when a normalheterosexual impulse appears at puberty, and a homosexual impulse later,it may still be the former that was acquired and the latter that wasinborn. You only communicate well—laugh, talk, make love—when one or both of you are under the influence of alcohol or other substances. Because her perky breasts were just a size or two too big for her whispishly thin figure, because her nipples were always visibly pushing up the material of her small top, because the areola which surrounded them also pushed up as little plinths on which the nipples sat and because of the clarity of the definition of her raised mound, everything about her appeared swollen in peak arousal. When the repression later sets inand changes so many of the childish likes into their opposites, thesesame persons as adolescents and adults then react to the rocking androlling with nausea and become terribly exhausted by a railroad journey,or they show a tendency to attacks of anxiety during the journey, and bybecoming obsessed with railroad phobia they protect themselves against arepetition of the painful experiences.