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My going was finally announced to me as a punishment to me for being what I was. To anyone with normal nerves it would have been a happy time of quiet, rustic peace, beauty, and relief from city life. I discovered her, however, writing letters to a fellow whom I had met one day when I was walking with her. At last the desire became irresistible and she persuaded a boy of 12, whom she was very fond of, and who was much attached to her, to let her whip him on the naked nates. “But the most trying thing of all has yet to be mentionedthe discovery that I had not yet got fully clear of the habit of masturbation.
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This Narcissus-like tendency, of which the normal germ in women is symbolized by the mirror, is found in a minor degree in some men, and is sometimes well marked in women, usually in association with an attraction for other persons, to which attraction it is, of course, normally subservient.
It may well be, as Zwaardemaker has suggested in his Physiologie desGeruchs, that the nasal congestion at menstruation and similar phenomenaare connected with that association of smell and sexuality which isobservable throughout the whole animal world, and that the congestionbrings about a temporary increase of olfactory sensitiveness during thestage of sexual excitation.43 Careful investigation of olfactoryacuteness would reveal the existence of such menstrual heightening of itsacuity.
Now instead of our own minds second guessing our decisions we have a whole community of writers who have instilled in us even more fear about something that really should be one of the best part about being in your twenties.
And, centuries before Biernacki, Sydenham had stated his belief that poverty of the blood is the chief cause of hysteria.