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How to find a loving partner

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What’s preventing you from finding...

S pring is in the air, which means gambolling lambs, magnolia in bloom and a new crop of men and women thinking: Must I start dating again? How on earth do I meet someone? But remaining alone after the loss of a partner or a bruising divorce is even worse. So all over the country, people right now are picking themselves up off the floor and having a go.

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On the plus side, there are advantages to mid or late life dating. Men, in turn, are likely to be moderately house trained.

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B ut how to meet members of the opposite sex? And how to present yourself?

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H annah Clark, a recently divorced mother of three, finds the idea of internet dating "toe-curling and very American". She is one of thousands of Britons who have no intention of being part of the online dating revolution. Writer Simon Ellis, 56, feels the same way. After his divorce, he joined an introductions agency.

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They were just too sensible. After several dates with "nice but worthy women", Simon decided to focus on his own social circle. Was it a waste of time and money?

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I met my girlfriend at a drinks party thrown by one of my guests a few months later. She gives me a withering glance, then pauses to reflect.

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H annah is holding out the hope that everyday life — the school gates, her dog walks, her neighbourhood, her occasional work trips abroad — might throw up a potential lover.

So far her day-to-day activities have produced only one candidate — an aggressive, boastful neighbour — but the ink on her "long and protracted" divorce papers is barely dry.

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T he experts say it takes time for the wounds to heal. He suggests the best events are ones which involve interaction.

H as he met anyone at these events? Anyone he actually fancied? S mith, a sparky social anthropologist from Iowa, believes that online dating "sucks" and thinks, like Hannah, that the best way to meet people is through "community proximity" i.

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She takes groups of up to 12 through the galleries with the idea of teaching them how to approach strangers "without fear". We urge you to turn off your ad blocker for The Telegraph website so that you can continue to access our quality content in the future. Visit our adblocking instructions page.

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The more raw things are, the more compassionate you have to be to yourself. If you want to find a happy, nurturing, compassionate relationship, look for those qualities in the other person.

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But Fred would surely find a higher ratio of unattached women on a yoga holiday. When you have a full life, you have more stories to tell and this makes you more attractive Make peace with your loss and try to forgive. Do they want the same things as you do?


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