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W omen, runs an Indian joke, were the reason the British lost India. Indians managed a working relationship with the men but when the prissy women landed with their flouncy dresses and aversion to the heat, it was time for independence.

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Asian women in Britain, however, are coping with the heat; that of the rat race and the heart. In love, while the men retreat back "home" to find accommodating brides, a visibly growing number of these women are winning the hearts of white colleagues and friends. Currently it's more a social than statistical trend, but one I've started investigating. Bask, if you will, in the early reviews: If the relationship works, great, if not, you can remain friends.

With Asian guys you only meet them with an eye to marriage. So, you can't risk a physical relationship unless marriage is definitely on the cards. The freedom from inhibitions is a recurring theme. It's particularly pertinent to sexual attitudes.

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Lack of "bullshit" and being appreciated "for the smallest things" were popular qualities. We learn it from our mothers. European men appreciate being looked after and tell you so.

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So much for the "we come to praise" the caring, sharing white man. When it comes to anything longer-term, however, many of the women prefer to bury that possibility.

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Interestingly, the greatest opposition to mixed marriages comes from the younger women. Familial and cultural obligations loom large even for those born and raised in Britain.

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I don't want to put my supportive immediate family through the scorn of "community. It's often a phase that Asians go through but before contemplating the long-term difficulties of marrying into another community when they generally decide against it.


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